You and your opt-in landing page have come so far already!
Amazingly helpful offering? Check.
Beautifully optimized design? Check?
Headline that stops people in their browsing tracks? Check.
“Now what should the copy on my landing page actually say, Claire???”
Take a breath and relax. It doesn’t have to be a 1000 word essay on why the visitor should hand over her email address. Chances are your headline has already done a lot of the work for you (go you!), but you may need to go a little further to close the deal and get people to convert.
Enter your perfectly crafted bullet points.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most people who visit your landing page aren’t going to read every word carefully. They’re busy, distracted, and are trying to be (at least a little bit) productive! They want to check out what you have to offer, make a quick decision, and move on.
Bullet points can make that an easy task. As opposed to a paragraph which can make skimming very difficult, bullet points help orient the eye to the most important information they need to make a decision. And since they’re usually no more than a sentence or two, bullet points are incredibly easy for the mind to digest.
In other words? You should use the friendly format of bullet points to convey just how valuable your offering is.
Unfortunately, most people overlook how much power these little bits of copy can pack and don’t spend all that much time writing them. The most common mistake I see with landing page bullet points is a major copywriting faux pas:
Everything’s too vague (and therefore boring).
Nobody writes bullet points like Laura Roeder. She taught me all about the art-meets-science of crafting copy that makes it downright impossible for you to stop reading.
You could wrap up her teaching with just two adjectives: your bullet points need to be specific and mysterious.
Let’s take a look at this example from a blog post she wrote to promote one of her webinars:
No one would ever accuse these bullet points of being vague. From the golden page to the dead funnel to the “party” technique, this copy pulls the reader in and piques their curiosity to the point that they HAVE to sign up for this workshop. I mean, aren’t you dying to know why the funnel is DEAD? Or what the “party technique” is??? I am! Mystery works, yo. There’s the proof.
Something you’ll notice is that each of these bullet points has at least two parts: the thing you’ll learn in this workshop and why it’s important. There’s also additional info to help make it ultra-specific. For example, let’s break down this bullet point into its different parts:
The “under the radar” selling technique you can start seeding into your Facebook statuses and Twitter updates to generate huge buzz on social media for your products and services.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN: The “under the radar” selling technique
MAKES IT SPECIFIC: you can start seeding into your Facebook statuses and Twitter updates
WHY IT’S IMPORTANT: to generate huge buzz on social media for your products and services.
Would this bullet point be half as interesting if she just described it as “an under-the-radar selling technique”?
The adjective “under-the-radar” does have its own element of mystery, but what I really want to do is to create huge buzz for my products and services. That’s what’s actually going to make me more money! So this bullet point succeeds in hooking me by adding a phrase about why it’s important for my business.
Let’s break down another bullet point:
The hidden “golden page” that brings in cash money from social media – most small businesses owners don’t even know this page exists, much less use it! Adding this one little page will mean big bucks for your business.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN: The hidden “golden page” that brings in cash money
MAKES IT SPECIFIC: from social media – most small businesses owners don’t even know this page exists
WHY IT’S IMPORTANT: Adding this one little page will mean big bucks for your business.
By the way, that “golden page” is a thing. And it works. I’ll let Laura explain it for you.
More Bullet Points to Put You in the Copywriting Mood
Here are a few more screenshots of beautifully-crafted landing page bullet points:
From Shenee Howard’s free challenge, Brand Awesome:
From David Siteman Garland’s “7 steps to creating, promoting & profiting from online courses” webinar:
From Derek Halpern’s How to Get 26,778 Subscribers in 13 Months webinar:
The “So That” Trick for Writing Specific Bullet Points
Having trouble writing truly captivating bullet points? Try this technique I learned from Derek Halpern:
Add “so that” to the end of each of your bullet points and complete the sentence.
A “so that” phrase in your bullet point helps me see what the benefit of knowing this information will be or why it’s imperative I learn and implement it.
For example, the bullet points for my free guide to Facebook ads could say:
In this free guide, you’ll learn:
- how to navigate the Power Editor
- the right image size to use in your ads
- how to read the results of your campaign.
OH HI THERE! Did you fall asleep while reading those utterly boring bullet points? I wouldn’t blame you.
Now let’s try the “so that” technique on those puppies:
- how to navigate the Power Editor so that your ad copy can be as long as you want. You’ll never be stopped by the ridiculous character limits in the Ads Manager ever again.
- the right image size to use in your ads so that they don’t get awkwardly cropped, forcing you to start all over again.
- how to read the results of your campaign so that you can see what’s working, when to invest more and when to put the brakes on a bad campaign that’s eating up your money.
See how each of those bullet points just got a lot more interesting?
I wouldn’t recommend using “so that” in every single one of your bullet points; they would sound too repetitive. But you can use different techniques to fill in the “so that” information (like a hyphen, a new sentence, “in order to” or “to”, etc.)
Invest in Becoming a Better Writer
Being a good writer and being a good copywriter are two completely different things. I’ll be honest with you: I didn’t know any of this stuff a few short years ago. Not even the absolute basics of copywriting. I wish I could show you the copy on my very first landing page I wrote for Laura; every word on it was painfully boring.
Fortunately Laura helped whip me into shape and pointed me in the right direction to keep developing those skills. I learned a ton about copywriting from reading the books Cash Copy and The Adweek Copywriting Handbook, as well as the blogs Copyblogger and The Middle Finger Project.
It takes time, dedication and practice to become a good copywriter. Unless you plan to hire a professional to write every single landing page and Facebook ad you ever make, just knowing the basics can seriously impact how people respond to your writing. (AHEM! We’re talking about more conversions and more money here.)
Think about it – if you struggle to write tweets/sales pages/landing pages/newsletters that get people really pumped up to work with you, copywriting training is something to consider investing in!
Claire, I was a professional online writer for 7 years, my focus was more on SEO content/sales pages (dull) but you are teaching me so much in such an exciting way! Thanks for your insight again. Love it.
What do you mean, dull?? Sales pages are crazy hard! Someone’s gotta do them. :)
But I’m so glad to be part of your education, Saskia. Thanks for reading AND for all the wonderful comments! I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate them.
Haha… well what my clients wanted was rather dull. I was definitely not serving my purpose writing about hog roasting machines and solar panels, with focus on keywords rather than actually using emotive techniques!
I’m sure there will be plenty more comments :) I look forward to your next post.
Claire, this is excellent advice. Very clear, practical and specific … with great examples. Creating effective (persuasive) bullet points is a real skill.
Thanks, Bob! I’m not gonna lie, it was kinda tough to find examples of great bullet points to show you, but those 4 up there sure know what they’re doing in the copywriting department!
Awesome post @clairepelletreau:disqus and I’ve been loving how you’ve been ramping up on all levels here on your blog and business. You’ve invested in you and it’s paying off
Thanks so much Natalie! That means a ton.
Hi Claire. The difference between a good writer and a good copywriter is definitely something to reflect on. Very powerful and practical advices from you, as usual!
I absolutely agree, and I had no idea about the two different skills for so long. I thought I copywriting would be easy – boy was I wrong!
Another brilliant post! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom in such a lovely and entertaining way!
Thanks Dina! So glad I was able to make this pretty dry stuff entertaining as well!
Brilliant!! Adding this to my resource list for webinar clients writing registration pages!
Awesome, thanks Jackie! Good reminder: I need to put together some more resource lists . . . :)
Love this Claire! I struggle with the mysterious pat of copywriting. When I took Sally Hogshead’s Fascination Advantage assessment, I found out my dormant advantage is Mystique which mean whenever I have to be mysterious, it’s like swimming through quicksand.
Any resources that you could suggest for adding a bit more mystery into copy when you’re not very mysterious?
Mystique is my dormant advantage as well, Michelle! I agree, it’s a constant struggle, but I’ve found Derek Halpern to be the king of the “information gap.” Hopefully this helps a bit: http://socialtriggers.com/power-of-curiosity/
Dormant Mystique unite!! Thank you Claire! That article is helpful. I know that I get higher open rates for emails when I add mystery – it’s just so unnatural to me. I’m going to work on it though.
Great article. Thank you, so helpful.
You’re so welcome, Michelle!